


Happier

by Mufffy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Artist Jeremy, Crying, Dog death, Dogs, Gay, Happier-Bastille and that one marshmellow guy, I cried so it's okay, I love the song hisduk, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealous Michael, M/M, References to Depression, Songfic, Swearing, a little dbh easter egg, and mean girls musical but its like half a sentence, kind of, lots of triggers, sorry - Freeform, therapist office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-23 14:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: Who makes a friend in fucking therapist office? Jeremy, that's who





	1. Goodbye/Hello

**Author's Note:**

> tbh today is so weird cuz my english teacher used a fucking light saver to point to the board and i love her ??
> 
> and uh,, muffy's got a c r u s h guys and hes a ginger and im... hhhhh cUTE EIHADSKJ

Jeremy sat in his kitchen chair, watching all the kids play around him. It was his birthday, but he really didn’t care. He invited everyone because he wanted his mom to at least think he had friends. He smiled anyway as he glanced over everyone else running and playing games.

“Are you enjoying your birthday, Jeremy?” His dad, Paul, asked crouching down next to him.

Jeremy answered honestly before smiling again “Yes. A lot more people showed up than I thought would. So that’s good” He mumbled shyly. He’d always been a shy kid ever since he was six.

“It’s okay if you’re unhappy, bud. Your mom and I got you a something little extra special” He whispered as he rubbed Jeremy’s curls when he stood. Jeremy watched his dad walk around the corner where his mom was leaning on. She only smiled and shrugged curiously. Jeremy tilted his head and frowned. He might’ve been eight, but he was far beyond dumb.

His dad soon came back with a small puppy in his arms. Jeremy’s face lit up tremendously. He felt tears rolling down his face as he took the dog in his eyes, smiling widely. He looked at its face and scratched its head, hugging it tightly.

“I think he likes him” Paul whispered to Morgan, rubbing Jeremy’s head.

“I’m glad” She whispered, smiling at Jeremy.

For years Jeremy cared for the dog. Even when his mom wouldn’t let him in his room, he would always replace the bed in the kitchen with a bigger and bigger one. He’d come home to him every day after school. Though his mom worried he spent more time with the dog instead of any of his real friends, she never did anything. When Jeremy got nervous or scared around other people she blamed herself but still never did anything to try and fix it.

Cole had become Jeremy’s best friend after five years. He was thirteen and still spending birthdays home alone with his dog. It started when Jeremy was eleven and didn’t want a party. On Cole’s birthday, him and his mom made plain vanilla muffins, half with icing and a half without and everyone knew not to eat Cole’s. By the time he was thirteen, he learned to make them himself.

By the time he was thirteen though he was forced to move schools since his dad got a new job in Red Bank. The only plus was the house was bigger. He and Cole rode in the back together, Cole in Jeremy’s lap the whole entire time. Jeremy wasn’t really upset considering he had no friends. He did miss his childhood house though. Even if his mom said it was open for opportunity and learn to make friends.

After a week in school, Jeremy already had bullies. Rich Goranski, a much shorter boy who was fourteen and a lot meaner. He picked on Jeremy for being new and even pushes him around. Chloe, on the other hand, spreads rumors about him doing drugs and disgusting habits he’d never even heard of. It was great. He hated it. He’d come home either obviously upset or crying for the next month, going for his room to cry. Of course, years after training Cole to not go into Jeremy’s room was thrown away after he’d follow Jeremy to his room. He hated seeing his boy cry. He’d bring in toys and stare at Jeremy until Jeremy looked up and slowly squeaked his toy. It would make Jeremy laugh and stop crying for the most part.

Jeremy noticed he was getting a little old, but he still loved him the same. The thought of Cole passing did upset him, but the idea never crossed his mind fully. The idea of Cole passing was aware to him, but he wasn’t fully in depth. Yes, his dog would pass, but so would his best friend.

When Jeremy turned fifteen his mother left him. She walked out one day and Jeremy was left to find his dad crying in the kitchen with Cole by his feet. Jeremy only pieced it together when he asked where his mom was and Paul only shook his head.

It took Jeremy a complete year to get over it and even then he wasn’t ready to be with just his dad. Bullying and his mother leaving left him a little messed up. He had less of an appetite and ‘turned to a twig’ as his dad said. It made him laugh anyway.

When Jeremy was seventeen he realized how much happier he was with just his dad, considering his mom wasn’t around to judge him or force friends on him. All he needed was Cole and his dad. He’d be fine. He’d finally gotten better and built himself up, not caring about what Rich and Chloe said. He met a girl named Christine in theatre and became quick friends. He confessed he’s never had a friend before and she said the same. Jeremy, being too quiet and shy with Christine who was too loud and annoying. They mixed well for a boy who liked to listen and a girl who loved to talk.

Jeremy learned things about her quickly and they both loved that the other actually wanted to stay around. Jeremy would admit to loving her and would ask her out but he’d never done that. He’d either mess something up or she’d say no and lose the only friend he’s ever have. He wasn’t ready to lose the only friend yet. Not to mention he didn’t actually know if he liked her, considering he’d never had more than one friend to compare. So it was kind of awkward, but Jeremy got over it and never thought of it again. And it was nice.

He had a best friend, a loving father and the best dog in the whole world. He even introduced Christine to him and they got along amazingly.

Until it wasn’t.

When Jeremy was seventeen, in the winter of his freshman year Cole was getting more and more tired. He wouldn’t eat as much and refused to walk. He’d lost weight and even lost teeth. Jeremy knew the time was coming, but he wasn’t ready yet. He wanted to remember the days when Cole was a puppy and crawling on his floor and bed.

“Dad... Do you think Cole needs to be put down?” Jeremy whispered to him randomly in January. It’d been two days since he’d eaten and Jeremy didn’t want to admit it but..

Jeremy dreaded the ride to the vet. He carried Cole to the car and held him the whole ride there. He didn’t want to cry, but anyone who’s lost a pet knows how it’s going to be. Jeremy let Paul talk to the veterinarian while he sat on the table with Cole.

“It’ll be okay..” He whispered, rubbing behind his eyes one last time “It’ll be okay” He whispered again, more to himself. He looked up at his dad with tears streaming down his face as Paul shakes his head. Jeremy sobs. He can barely say his last goodbye without crying. He couldn’t even watch as they gave Cole his shot. Cole whined slightly, watching Jeremy cry. Jeremy watched him, petting him and coaxing him through it as he kept whispering his goodbye. Jeremy smiled slightly once he was gone, or at least when he thought he was. As soon as Cole was gone Jeremy was sobbing uncontrollably. Only as if Cole had come back to life, he raised his paw to Jeremy’s mouth to make him smile.

Paul and Jeremy drove back home in complete silence, a dead dog in a blanket in the back seat. Jeremy said he wanted to be the one to take care of him. So he did. Dug the hole, took Cole’s collar and laid him still in the blanket. His mom would’ve complained about the hole, but his dad said it was a good spot.

For the next month, it was weird. They boxed up his toys and pictures. As the days passed they’d still find toys under the couch or a few random pictures on his phone or facebook memories reminding him constantly. All Jeremy did was lay on the couch and watch TV all day. He’d cry occasionally and take long naps plus sleeping the whole night and sleeping in. He ate very little and gave up in school. He missed a whole week, trying to readjust a little as he came back and had to explain it to Christine. His grades dropped, but his dad let it slide.

Christine brought over homework for a while and helped him with it, explaining how it went. She told him that she explained the whole situation to the teachers, but didn’t tell anyone else at the school. Jeremy fell asleep as Christine pointed to a geometry problem, frowning once she found Jeremy asleep on her shoulder. She sighed and moved the book away to pull him into her lap, running her fingers through his hair “..It’s kind of sad” She whispered to Paul who was in the kitchen, working on a divorce file for a couple.

“I know..” Paul whispered, setting his pencil down “..I really wanna take him to a therapist or doctor even, but he’d never go willingly. I asked him and he said he was fine” Paul whispered, “I lost my wife, dog and now son..” He frowned.

“..I can take him and meet you at the therapist office if you’d like?” Christine mumbled “I can drive him home tomorrow and take him there” She smiled “It’d be wrong, but it’d be the best for him..”

“Please..” Paul whispered.

As soon as Christine pulled into the parking lot, Jeremy didn’t get out “..I’m sorry Jeremy” She whispered, “I know you said you’re okay, but I really think it’d be healthy to just check in..”

“I’m sad about a dog death, it’s normal” Jeremy tried to complain before sighing “Fine.. I’ll try it.. For you” He mumbled. He really didn’t want to, but the only friend he’d ever had might leave if he was too much for her to handle.

As soon as they walked in, Paul hugged Jeremy tightly and smiled at Christine “Thanks Christine” He had whispered, rubbing his son’s back “I’m sorry Jeremy.. I just need you to get better”

“It’s okay.. I understand” Jeremy whispered, even though he thought therapy was stupid. He’d much rather just talk to Christine or his dad, maybe even his mom or her new boyfriend. Maybe. He didn’t really like him though. Jeremy still gave in and sat down awkwardly next to another boy. He had headphones on so he might be antisocial too. Or just hate people. Same thing.

Jeremy studied him over. He had his eyes closed, good. Jeremy glanced over his red hoodie and stared at each hand sewn patch on the sleeves. A rainbow one, so maybe he was gay and he could ‘talk our the gay’ because that’s how therapy works, right? Jeremy would date a guy. But a girl too.. Weird shit. He glanced over the other ones, noticing one from a video game he played quite often. Apocalypse of the damned. Still can’t beat level nine. The next patch was a cassette tape. So maybe he liked old vintage games. He glanced over to look at the ones on his other, not getting a much better view before noticing he was staring back at Jeremy.

Jeremy panicked and looked down, glancing around the room. The boy only laughed, taking his headphones to rest on his neck. It sounded foreign and definitely not English “Like what you see?” He smirked, leaning over a little.

Jeremy was very uncomfortable. Was this flirting? Or was he making fun of him? He’d never know. He shook his head “No- Well, uh, I mean.. I like your Apocalypse of the damned patch” He mumbled out, fidgeting with his hands, nervously.

“Oh, you play?” The boy smiled.

“Yeah- I love it” He breathed, feeling his lungs constrict painfully. He prayed he wasn’t having another panic attack.

“Beat level nine?” He asked.

“How’d you know?”

“Because no one can without a player two” The boy laughed “I’m Michael, by the way,” He smiled, offering out his hand.

Jeremy faintly noticed the scars around his wrist before smiling and shakily taking his hand “Jeremy” He mumbled, taking his hand back.

“So..” Michael frowned “What are you in here for?”

“Oh uh.. My dog died” He mumbled lamely.

“That’s it?”

“I uh.. Only had one friend for a year.. and.. . I had him for ten years” He whispered, looking away. It wasn’t normal and kind of ashamed of it.

“Oh,” Michael frowned and smiled sadly at him “I’m sorry.. I’ll be your new friend” Michael smiled a little softer.

“Thanks” Jeremy whispered “So.. why are you here?”

“Oh,” Michael smiled “I tried to kill myself” He shrugged.

“Oh” Jeremy’s eyes shot up a little, pulling up one knee to hug comfortingly “..I’m sorry” He whispered, hesitating a little “Is it because you’re gay?”

Michael stared at him in shock “How- ..Is it that obvious?” He whispered.

“Uh..” Jeremy smiled softly, tapping at the patch on his arm.

“Oh” Michael whispered, looking down as his face turned slightly red “Well.. Uh- Anyways, yeah. My dad disowned me and my mom divorced two years ago and came out as a lesbian, urging me to come out to her and her fiance” He smiled “Besides all of the school finding out I was gay once a bully told everyone after my mom put the patch on the hoodie.. Should’ve waited” He shrugged.

“But it’s a good thing you’re proud..” Jeremy smiled widely.

“Sometimes” Michael mumbled.

“Here,” Jeremy mumbled, taking a pen from the table and sticking his hand out. Michael only stared at him before sticking his hand out a little. Jeremy gladly took it and gently rolled up the sleeve. Michael tensed under his hand as his cuts were more visible. Jeremy only turned his hand over to write on the back of it. Michael watched, noticing numbers “There. Now we can text” Jeremy smiled “If you wanna vent..”

“Thanks” Michael smiled, rolling down his sleeve and grinned “You know.. Therapy is stupid” 

“I’ve been thinking that my whole life” Jeremy gasped “Like.. It works better with friends”

“Exactly!” Michael laughed “It’s so fake” He muttered, “You think telling a stranger would help, but it really doesn’t. You think telling a stranger means they won’t judge you but they will- or maybe because they get paid for this.. Getting paid to listen to problems? I don’t even understand that” Michael laughed a little.

“Same though!” Jeremy smiled, laughing with him as they high fived.

“Michael Mell?” 

Michael looked up and smiled at Jeremy “That’s me, but I promise to text you”

“Thanks, alright, see ya” Jeremy smiled.

“Bye,” He grinned, walking with an older woman to back door and disappearing.

“Did you know him?” Paul asked, smiling at him.

“Uh... Nope, new friend” Jeremy smiled widely.


	2. Rumors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i just say i love this story and am like, actually happy to keping writing it like wow
> 
> uh, i got a hair cut, kinda look like kara from dbh, so thats nice
> 
> uh, yeah,, chapter 3 in progress as we speak so yay yeet suhndlwus im akwward here take a chaoter 2

Unknown number 4:22 PM: Hey uh.. Is this Jeremy?? The boy I met at therapy.

Jeremy jumped, the strange feeling of texting getting to him as he looked at his phone. He smiled a little in relief, opening the text in bed. He was about to fall asleep but texted Michael instead. 

Jeremy 4:24 PM: It is!! Yay, you texted back

Michael 4:24 PM: Why wouldn’t I? Lol

Jeremy 4:25 PM: Idk could’ve thought i was a loser and changed your mind

Michael 4:25 PM: Aw, i could never

Jeremy 4:25 PM: I mean, there’s still time to turn back

Michael 4:26 PM: No there isnt

Jeremy 4:27 PM: But there is

Michael 4:27 PM: Shhh, n o

Jeremy laughed and smiled widely at their texts. They hit it off really early. It kind of surprised Jeremy with how friendly they were being. He’d have to thank Christine later for helping him be a little more social.

Michael 4:29 PM: Sorry if im a little awkward

Jeremy 4:29 PM: NDJEUGHS NO I WAS JUST THINKING AND GOT SIDE TRACKED M SOREY

Michael 4:30 PM: Phht.. it’s okay

Jeremy 4:30 PM: I rarely text people so dhfxtedre

Michael 4:30 PM: It’s okay, i’ve only ever texted my moms and online friend

Jeremy 4:31 PM: Ive never had an online friend

Michael 4:31 PM: And how old are you

Jeremy 4:32 PM: 17 ??

Michael 4:32 PM: Cool, im 18

Jeremy 4:32 PM: Ohh

Michael 4:33 PM: So what are you planning on doing this afternoon..?

Jeremy 4:34 PM: Um.. If im honest i was gonna sleep all after noon

Michael 4:34 PM: Oh, cool, you can go and do that

Jeremy 4:35 PM: I mean, do you wanna like hang out or something?

Michael 4:35 PM: Or something

Jeremy 4:36 PM: I shouldn’t have given you the option tbh

Michael 4:36 PM: Nope, but if you wanna hang out we can meet up or something and chill?  
Michael 4:36 PM: What school do you go to?

Jeremy 4:37 PM: Middleborough, do you go to school?

Michael 4:37 PM: Yeah, im senior there

Jeremy 4:38 PM: oh  
Jeremy 4:38 PM: I’m only a uh junior

Michael 4:38 PM: Aw, bab

Jeremy 4:39 PM: eXCUSE ?

Michael 4:39 PM: I MEAN  
Michael 4:39 PM: YOURE TINY

Jeremy 4:40 PM: RKJSDHFEWFET  
Jeremy 4:40 PM: FRIENDSHIP OVER ???

Michael 4:41 PM: well that was quicker than i expected

Jeremy 4:41 PM: Omg

Michael 4:42 PM: Do you want me to like pick you up tomorrow so we can hang out?  
Michael 4:42 PM: You dont have to say yes

Jeremy 4:43 PM: im just amazed that you can drive

Michael 4:43 PM: You’re 17 ??

Jeremy 4:44 PM: And have chronic panic attacks and extra extreme anxiety

Michael 4:44 PM: That’s great

Jeremy 4:45 PM: Isn’t it?

Michael 4:45 PM: Still uh,, want that ride or nah?

Jeremy 4:46 PM: Yes

Jeremy didn’t really know what he was asking for, but he’d agreed and deal with it. He chucked his phone on the table and plugged it in, rolling over to sleep. He’d check the messages he’d get, which was literally two, later. In the meantime, he’d sleep and deal with school work tomorrow.

Michael 7:21 AM: Wow i hate school

Jeremy 7:24 AM: I think i hate theraphy more

Michael 7:24 AM: Oh shit, throwing shade

Jeremy 7:26 AM: When arent i

Michael 7:26 AM: Damn, youre really sassy in the morning

Jeremy 7:29 AM: Its called being tired

Michael 7:29 AM: Are you even out of bed?

Michael 7:37 AM: You’re gonna be late for school

Jeremy 7:39 AM: fUCK

Michael 7:40 AM: hAA

Jeremy sighed as he got ready. He hated school, but his dad driving him made it a little more tolerable. He could care less now that he found out not only Christine went there, but Michael too. He glanced around as he got out of the car and scratched his head as he walked down the sidewalk. He should’ve done something with his hair, but it’d be a mess no matter what still. He jumped almost immediately as someone put an arm around him, shoving them away to take a step back and freeze, seeing it was Michael with a slightly guilty expression. They were quiet as Jeremy’s face grew a little red.

“Sorry I’m.. not used to that” He mumbled.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a warming” Michael smiled, shoving his hands into his pockets. Jeremy couldn’t help but think of the scars scattering them, but it wasn’t his place to judge or see them. Michael show him when he was ready “You wanna...try again?” He joked.

“..Yeah” Jeremy mumbled, tensing his shoulders slightly as Michael wrapped his arm around Jeremy’s small and thin shoulders. It felt weird to have a weight on his tense shoulders. It felt normal as they walked in together though. He felt a little protected when Rich stared, a little confused, the other hesitant. Jeremy obviously looked away but when Michael looked at him and glared Rich near ran away, quickly walking down the hall “..Do you not like Rich?” He whispered.

“Huh?” Michael hummed before smiling “No, I don’t.. Like him, but I don’t not like him. I mean, I think him bullying people is wrong because his life isn’t the nicest, but it’s not a bad person. I used to be his friend”

“Oh,” Jeremy mumbled in understanding. So Rich was scared on Michael? Maybe it was a good thing he became friends with Michael “Why’d you stop?”

Michael took a breath and shook his head a little “I don’t wanna get in depth but there were drugs and insults thrown around so we stopped being friends. Then he lied to Jake and I stopped being friends with him too. I mean, if they’re just going to believe each other and not believe me then were they really friends?” Michael shrugged.

Jeremy tensed slightly when Michael moved but smiled anyways “That really does suck.. I’m sorry” He mumbled.

“It’s fine, who needs bad friends like them anyway?” Michael grinned “He’s only scared of me because I could absolutely ruin him”

Michael could ruin Rich at any second. Noted “Oh. So.. even the biggest bully in school is scared of someone?” He whispered.

“Everyone’s scared of someone here” Michael grinned, raising his hand to mess up Jeremy’s curly hair. Jeremy might’ve flinched, but he was used to it. He got used to it quickly and lifted his hand away.

“Quit” Jeremy mumbled, fixing his hair a little as he laughed.

“I’ll quit if you can reach my hand” He smirked, raising his hand as he stopped in front of the English class. Jeremy looked up, cocking his head back harshly at his hand. He frowned and hesitantly raised a hand over his head, barely up to his elbow. Jeremy lowered his hand and carefully took off his backpack. Michael wasn’t that tall, but he was definitely taller than Jeremy. Maybe five inches or so.

“Uh.. how tall are you?” Jeremy whined, jumping to just barely graze his palm. He really didn’t want to smack his wrist or arm that hard considering he didn’t know how far down the cuts go.

“Five nine, you?” Michael smiled, not taking his hand down.

Jeremy sighed and frowned deeply “...Five two” He muttered, reaching up a little more before thinking to himself.

“Oh my god you’re so short” He whispered, smiling to himself.

Jeremy stared at him before carefully putting a hand on Michael’s chest. Michael stared at him, confused before Jeremy moved his hand to his side, above his hip and tickled him, causing him to topple over and hold his side, giving Jeremy the opportunity to softly touch his hand, smiling to himself.

“You cheated” Michael muttered, crossing his arms.

“I can’t cheat if you never established rules” Jeremy smiled, still proud of himself as he picked up his bag, putting it back on.

“You love loopholes, don’t you?” Michael frowned.

“Always” Jeremy smirked. He might’ve been short, but that was thanks to his mom. He only inherited the worst traits. Shortness, curly hair, freckles, awkwardness, crooked teeth and horrible eyes. Thank god for Invisalign and contacts.

“Nerd” Michael teased, patting his hair.

“I know” Jeremy mumbled, taking his phone out to text Christine “But at least I have friends” He smiled, memories of Cole slipping in a little. He frowned and looked down to text as Michael put his arm on Jeremy’s head, looking down at his texts.

Jeremy 7:55 AM: Stage dork

Christine 7:58 AM: Dorks*

“Get owned” Michael whispered, smirking.

Jeremy 7:58 AM: Correct, there’s three of us now

“Ouch” Michael whispered “That’s rough buddy”

“Sorry, too short to hear your annoying complaining” Jeremy smirked.

“Owww” Michael laughed.

Christine 7:59 AM: DID YOU MAKE A FRIEND IM WHAT

Jeremy 7:59 AM: IS IT THAT HARD TO BELIEVEE

“Yes,” Michael mumbled.

Christine 8:00 AM: YES

Jeremy 8:00 AM: You guys are mean :(

Christine 8:01 AM: OMG DID HE SAY IT TOO

“Yes,” Michael smirked.

Jeremy 8:01 AM: Yes

Christine 8:01 AM: HAHAHAHHAAHHA

Jeremy 8:02 AM: :’(

Christine 8:02 AM: Oh wah

Jeremy 8:02 AM: :’,(

Christine 8:03 AM: Jeremy please

Jeremy 8:03 AM: :.’.’.’.’.’.’.’.’.(

Christine 8:04 AM: You’re a weirdo.. See you in calc!

Jeremy 8:04 AM: You’re on

“She seems nice” Michael smiled “I used to be friends with girls, then they all became bitches”

“Oh” Jeremy frowned “Well Christine is nice” Jeremy smiled widely “She likes theatre and music”

“I’d share my music tastes, but they’re all either Bob Marley or not English” He laughed.

“What are they in?” Jeremy smiled.

“Filipino” Michael smiled.

“That’s cool. Are you..?”

“Yeah, My mom and dad are. They left here for America when my dad got a business opportunity and my mom was maybe five months pregnant and then a few months later I was here and so they stayed. Not much more is said. Since I was like fourteen I was questioning myself and my dad and mom fought more and more so they divorced and my mom met a girl who was pan and she soon became my stepmom and they gave me the courage to come out- Whoa I got off topic” He mumbled.

“It’s okay, I like learning about you” Jeremy smiled brightly “I’m glad you came out to me. I’m still not sure what I am, but Tumblr says I’m bi so” He shrugged.

“Everyone is LGBT on Tumblr” He joked “Not really, but a lot of the community is pretty safe there” Michael smiled “I like it”

“We should follow each other” Jeremy joked.

“Sure, write it on me later” Michael smirked.

“You know what” Jeremy smirked, taking a pen from his backpack and sticking his hand out “How about right now?” 

“Wow,” Michael muttered, giving him his hand.

“Didn’t expect that, did you?” He smirked, rolling his sleeve down just barely. It was different in the therapist where no one was supposed to judge. At school was very different. Kids would see a drawing on someone’s arm and make a rumor that the kid cut it all up “There” He smiled.

“..Heere-and-queere? Why is the queere spelled with an extra E?” He mumbled, shoving his hand back into his pockets”

“My last name is Heere, spelled H-E-E-R-E” He smiled sadly “It’s.. pronounced ‘here’ though” He muttered “I’ve been teased and heard so many puns it’s not funny anymore”

“Aw, I was gonna make some puns” Michael pouted.

Jeremy jumped as the bell rang, giving then five minutes to get to class “You’ll have to text them to me or tell me later, I gotta go” He smiled “Bye for now” He quickly hugged Michael, Michael hugging back tightly before they let go. Jeremy waved and went into the English room as Michael turned down the hall to go his own way.

It was actually a yearbook club dedicated to taking pictures and editing the yearbook. Jeremy may have spent the whole time looking for Michael and occasionally Christine while jotting down a few ideas. His phone was going off like crazy and he was allowed to check it. He just didn’t want to seem out of the ordinary. He’d never opened his phone in class since Christine was the only one he texted and she was busy while his dad was at work. Fuck it.

Michael 8:18 AM: Okay but what about Jeremy Queere  
Michael 8:24 AM: Ohh has anyone ever written your name hear  
Michael 8:28 AM: I think they have  
Michael 8:33 AM: Not here? Nope, Jeremy Theere  
Michael 8:36 AM: Jeremy BEAR OMG  
Michael 8:37 AM: Don’t be underage drinking though  
Michael 8:42 AM: Jeremy Deere  
Michael 8:44 AM: Is your favorite animal a deer though?

Jeremy 8:46 AM: It’s actually a rabbit, but deer are cute animals

Michael 8:47 AM: Omg heeeeey

Jeremy 8:47 AM: I read this in a really bitchy white girl voice and ew

Michael 8:48 AM: Ew  
Michael 8:48 AM: It’s a Chloe

Jeremy 8:49 AM: Valentine?

Michael 8:49 AM: You know her??

Jeremy 8:50 AM: More like she hates me and I avoid her because she told everyone I snort crack and have sex with anyone willing, but yeah, I kind of barely know her

Michael 8:51 AM: Oh jeez, this is why I stopped being friends with her

Jeremy 8:51 AM: No judgment, but she does seem like a nice person

Michael 8:52 AM: She told everyone you snort crack and you’re calling her nice??

Jeremy 8:52 AM: I mean if you’re close and her friend yeah  
Jeremy 8:53 AM: Am I supposed to be mean to her ???

Michael 8:53 AM: Well no but calling her nice isnt the right word for it either

Jeremy 8:54 AM: I mean,, Isnt it kind of like rich though ?

Michael 8:54 AM: Chloe is bitch to her own best friend saying she had sex with her boyfriend at the time and then broke up with Jake because she thought he actually cheats on her and it was a big mess

Jeremy 8:56 AM: Chloe told everyone Brooke was having sex with Jake while she was dating Jake?

Michael 8:56 AM: Chloe was dating Jake  
Michael 8:56 AM: I’ll tell you later, brb for passing period

Jeremy quickly put his phone away and closed his notebook, carrying them out of the room as the bell rang. He glanced around for a tall boy and a red hoodie but couldn’t see him anywhere. As soon as he walked into his homeroom he got another text, sitting down to open it up.

Michael 9:01 AM: Who’s your homeroom teacher??

Jeremy 9:01 AM: lemaster ??

Jeremy waited for a reply for a few seconds, shrugging it off as he never got one, opening his math book to work on his geometry he didn’t get done. He struggled for a few seconds, jumping as Michael sat in the empty seat next to him, leaning on his arm to stare at Jeremy.

Jeremy raised his head up to look at him “What are you doing here?” He smiled, sitting up completely.

“My teacher’s pretty relaxed and just let me come here. So now I can annoy you for half an hour” He grinned.

“Oh,” Jeremy mumbled “I’d love to talk and all, but I have no idea what I’m doing” He muttered, tapping his eraser on the table.

“Algebra review? Bull shit” He muttered, squinting at the paper “Oh proofs” He whispered, “Are you struggling with Transitive and Substitution?” Michael grinned.

Jeremy blushed a little and laid his head down, pouting “..Maybe”

“Here” Michael smiled, leaning closer to explain. Jeremy kept his head down, but listened, trying to understand it. He did, for the most part, knowing the difference easily when Michael put it simply. The teacher wasn’t bad, she just over-explained which sometimes could make things more complicated. It was still fun studying with someone nonetheless. It went like this throughout the day. In the hallways, Michael would tap his shoulder and Jeremy would smile, or Michael would walk past and push his hair back to mess it up and make Jeremy laugh. Within the first two hours, half the school had noticed after Jenna Rolan shared it all over the school Instagram. It’s where she posted everything, the second someone looked like a couple or looked like they broke up. Rumors and gossip. Jeremy stayed away from it, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t exist still.

As soon as his ninth period was done and he was heading to the bus Michael passed him, hooked an arm around his shoulders and turned him around.

“Wha- Wait, I need-”

“I can drive you” Michael smiled “I figured it’s a lot better than spending twenty minutes on a bus with kids you hate”

“..It’s forty, but yeah” Jeremy smiled softly, as they walked out the door. Jeremy glanced around, forcing himself to find the comfort of Michael’s arm around him as he calmed down.

“You get home after four?” Michael whispered, walking up to a purple PT Cruiser, unlocking it as he threw his backpack in the back.

Jeremy hesitantly sat his in the back seat before sitting in the front, buckling in “Yeah, but I don’t mind” He shrugged softly “If I walk it’s like ten minutes, but some days I’ve just been too tired to care” He smiled.

“Understandable” Michael nodded as he pulled out of the parking lot to drive to his place.


	3. Video game and chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i write in first period year book so like, 45 to 50 minutes of free writing, moving to 30 minutes of homeroom and later 55 minutes of history i dont pay attention to so thats liKE OVER 2 HOURS OF FREE WRITING YA'LL IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

Jeremy was quiet for most of the ride, listening to the soft hum of the car and music from the AUX cord connected to Michael’s phone. He didn’t understand any of Filipino, but Michael was smiling and mumbling along to the lyrics so it was okay. He leaned back in his seat, watching as cars drove past and houses flash in blurs. He noticed a bunch of kids walking.

He watched as they took pictures of him and stared in a confused face. Jeremy quickly took out his phone, tapping away as he opened Instagram. He found Jenna’s gossip account and scrolled, gagging as he continued. He found a picture of Michael with his arm over Jeremy’s head and a few of Jeremy reaching for his hand. One of them walking in the hallways, all the captions asking if they were dating.

“Sick” Jeremy muttered, refreshing the page to find one of him in Michael’s car from just a few seconds ago “..God” he whispered.

“What’s wrong?” Michael frowned, glancing over at him.

Jeremy frowned and put the phone by the wheel so he could see “Jenna Rolan’s Instagram. All day it’s been about us. It’s like all people ever care about is if two people are dating or not.. It’s kind of sick” He whispered, taking his phone back to stare at it in disgust.

Michael grimaced slightly as he drove, making sure to keep his eyes on the road. He might’ve been suicidal, but risking his life with Jeremy in the car wasn’t very right in his opinion. He noticed Jeremy’s offset demeanor before smiling softly “Hey, who cares?” He mumbled, reaching a hand over to rub Jeremy’s knee “Let people think what they want, we’re friends and that’s all that matters, right?”

Jeremy stared at his knee, watching as Michael rubbed his thumb over his jeans “You’re right” Jeremy smiled gently “..So I can take a picture of your hand on my knee and post it with a heart caption, right?”

Michael paused, sighing softly “Let me move my hand to your thigh first-” He joked before breaking out a laugh, taking his hand away. Jeremy laughed too, snorting softly “No, I wouldn’t do that unless you’re comfortable”

“I am” Jeremy whispered teasingly as he opened the camera on his phone. Michael stared at him in disbelief before hesitantly setting his hand on Jeremy’s thigh, gently squeezing. Jeremy smiled as he took a picture, moving his hand just barely higher and moving his thumb to the top of his leg. He smiled again and took another “People are gonna flip their shit” Jeremy snorted.

“Uh- Probably” Michael laughed “Might get teased again for being gay, but I don’t care about that much anymore” Michael smiled.

Jeremy frowned and put a hand on Michael’s arm “..Please don’t lie to me. If you were in therapy because of your sexuality then you would still care about it” Jeremy carefully let go of Michael’s arm. He might’ve crossed a line, but he knew it was something Michael was sensitive about.

“..It’s okay. Really, it wasn’t just the bullying. It was a bit of a build up, ya know..?” Michael mumbled. Jeremy nodded and frowned, staring down at the post he was about to post. He hovered over the delete button before Michael’s finger came down and hit post “Boop” He smiled.

Jeremy blinked and looked up at him “Why’d you do that?” He smiled softly.

Michael only shrugged and kept driving “Because it’ll be funny to see people lose their shit, duh” He smirked “And because tomorrow everyone’s gonna think we’re dating”

“Oh my god- What if we just kiss and hug and say we love each other but tell everyone we’re not dating” Jeremy whispered.

Michael broke out laughing as he pulled into the parking lot “Do you actually want to?”

“No, not really, but it’d be a funny idea” Jeremy smiled “So give me a week or month and we can” He snorted.

“I have to wake to fake date you? Got, this isn’t gonna be one of those stories where people fake date and become a real couple, is it?”

“Maybe” Jeremy winked as he grabbed his backpack, closing the door after him.

Jeremy stared at him before squinting and shaking his head, picking his own up. He made his way into the house, opening the door and taking his shoes off, dropping his backpack in the walk in, walking into the walk-in kitchen.

Jeremy awkwardly shut the door behind him and carefully slid his converses off, staring down at his bright colored, unmatching socks. He was a little embarrassed by the fact but gave up on caring. Why care when it’s just him? No one’s going to judge him. Jeremy glanced around the small porch, taking a shy step onto the linoleum connected to the kitchen. He held his backpack strap, carefully putting it down as he made eye contact with a pale woman with bright blonde and wavy hair. He swallowed and carefully waved as his face turned red.

Michael followed out a few seconds later, sighing “Mom, this is Jeremy. The friend I told you about? He’s a Junior at my school”

“Aww!” She smiled, waving to him happily “Hi Jeremy, I’m Jasmine” She giggled “I’m Michael’s step-mom” She grinned happily as she slid over to him in her own socks. She looked him up and down before noticing his socks and gasping “Aw! Those are cute” She grinned.

Jeremy blushed and glanced away, wishing the embarrassment would just stop. Michael only smirked at him and Jeremy’s face heated up even more. He sighed and smiled anyway, mumbling incoherent words, kind of sounding like a thank you??? Jasmine did feel a little bad about this, backing up “Sorry, I just love it when Michael brings friends over” She smiled widely again.

“I haven’t brought a friend over since Rich and that was like a year ago” Michael explained “My moms know I don’t have friends, I’m not too embarrassed by it” Michael shrugged and smiled at Jeremy. At least Michael was happy to have him over.

“I don’t have very many friends either” Jeremy mumbled softly.

“Probably because you’re really shy” Jasmine smiled sadly “But that’s okay! I’m glad you’re at least making some friends because some are better than none. There are pros and cons, but it’s all really opinions. Still, I’m happy” Jasmine grinned.

“Thank you” Jeremy whispered, rubbing his arm as Michael slung an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m gonna steal my friend back and go play video games, is that cool Mom?” Michael smiled softly at her.

“Yep, go on ahead. I’ll tell Maha to leave you alone when she gets off work” Jasmine waved again as she pulled out her phone.

“Nice, okay let’s go” Michael whispered, letting his arm slide down Jeremy’s as he started to walk, grabbing his hand at the last second to walk out of the room. Jeremy jumped a little but still followed, staring at their hands.

Jeremy softly gripped his hand as he looked around the living room, noticing the pictures of Michael with another boy and his two moms. He blinked a little, confused considering he said his dad left. He forgot what age he said he’d left, but he definitely knew she wasn’t around because Jasmine wasn’t Filipino. Jeremy jumped when Michael’s arm was pulling him down, looking down to start going downstairs “Your room is in the basement?” He mumbled, smiling “That’s so cool”

“Thanks” Michael laughed “Rooms a little messy, but it’s not that bad” He shrugged.

Jeremy grimaced a little as he made it downstairs. He quickly stopped his face before Michael could see. His room smelled like cologne and weed. It was… new to say the least. He wasn’t against smoking, in fact, he understood if someone like Michael did it.

His room was pretty big, he glanced around and smiled a little. To his left, there was a door he ignored and moved to the nightstand, his bed, and dresser against the wall. On the wall in front of him, a flat screen on an entertainment center with all sort of consoles and games on the shelves. Jeremy noticed his beanbags, taking in the smell and dark lighting as he adjusted. He snapped back to reality when he noticed Michael was sitting in the bean bag, staring at him.

“Sorry!” Jeremy blurted, blushing a little at how loud he was being “I.. uh- Was looking around your room” He mumbled “Wasn’t trying to ignore you” He laughed softly, moving to sit in the other beanbag, gladly taking the controller Michael handed to him.

“So what are we looking to play?” Michael smiled.

“I don’t know” Jeremy whispered “This is the awkward part where I say Mario Kart or Apocalypse..”

“Do you wanna play level nine?” Michael whispered.

“..Yes” Jeremy whispered back.

They played at least four times, getting closer each time, but still not getting it. Near their sixth time when Jeremy had enough and played angrily, they actually did win. Jeremy stared in disbelief at the screen. Michael was laughing and breathing heavily as he gestured to the screen “Yes!” He screamed, standing up as he laughed “After years!” He laughed loudly “Fuck yes” He whispered, rubbing his face as he laid on the bean bag, sighing in disbelief “Jeremy I love you” He laughed.

Jeremy finally laughed softly and shook his head “It feels nice, but now there’s level ten to beat”

“No!” Michael screeched, sitting up to save the game and take it out “Don’t ruin my good mood” He snorted. Jeremy down right lost it and snorted himself, his face turning red and throat hurting “Jere?” Michael laughed, covering his mouth “You.. snort…. So much” He whispered.

“I know” Jeremy whispered, calming down as he sighed happily “I get it from my mom” He smiled.

“She snorted a lot?” Michael smiled.

“A lot of crack” He mumbled, looking through Michael’s games, looking through all of the Mario games in amazement.

“Damn!” Michael’s eyes widened a little “Do you not.. Like your mom? Jeez” Michael whispered “I mean, if she’s doing that I think your parents would have issues” Michael frowned.

“Considering they divorced two years ago because she cheated on my dad, yeah they do” He laughed.

“Oh” Michael whispered “Sorry” He mumbled, “But.. like, does your mom actually?”

“No, but if she did I wouldn’t ever see her on the holidays” He muttered “I have to see her every summer. Instead of weekends and shit, I go to her place in New York over the summer. I hate it” He laughed gently.

“Oh, I’m sorry” Michael mumbled again “But hey, you should bring me this summer” He joked.

“I can ask” Jeremy shrugged “Maybe since you’re graduating this year she could trust you as an adult. Then again she really doesn’t care about me so I could literally drink in front of her and she wouldn’t care. Granted I’d never do that because alcohol and drugs aren’t my thing, but that’s just me” He shrugged.

Michael frowned a little and shrugged at that “But are you okay with drugs though?”

“I mean.. Like, crack and meth and shit I don’t. If you’re my friend and do that I’m gonna leave you. I don’t care how many friends I have” He mumbled.

“What about like.. Drinking or weed?”

“Drinking is fine as long as you’re not getting drunk and being stupid. Like at parties, a drink is nice, but getting drunk and having sex with a stranger is just.. Horrible” He muttered “Not my tastes” He laughed.

“And weed?” Michael whispered.

“I don’t care” He shrugged “It’s not harmful so I don’t understand why it’s illegal here” He muttered “I’d probably never smoke it for fear of getting caught, but I’m not opposed” He shrugged.

“So you wouldn’t care if I did it..?” Michael asked carefully.

“I knew when I walked in the door honestly. No offense, I just smelled it” Jeremy smiled, laying back on the beanbag to show him a random Mario Kart.

“How do you know what it smells like?” Michael smirked, taking the game to put in the console.

“What teenager doesn’t?” Jeremy laughed.

“You are not shy and anxious at all” Michael smiled “You’re like.. Secretly this meme lord who trash talks people behind their back and is constantly on Tumblr, aren’t you?”

Jeremy blushed a little at the memory of an open Tumblr tab on his phone right now “Not.. exactly” He mumbled “I mean, I do send Christine a shit-ton of memes, but that’s just because they’re from musicals” He laughed.

“Oh like.. Uh, Wicked and Hamilton and stuff?”

Jeremy stared at him in disbelief before whispering “Are you musical trash too?” He smiled.

“Sadly” Michael grinned.

“Oh my god!” Jeremy laughed, pulling out his phone.

“Are you texting Christine?” Michael mumbled, moving to look over his shoulder. Michael was basically in Jeremy’s bean bag, but Jeremy didn’t seem to mind as he frantically texted.

“Yes, she must know” He snorted.

“I mean, in a year or two you can graduate and go into theatre. Take the dream further” Michael mumbled “Or something like that.. It’s what my therapist told me” He shrugged.

“Same?” Jeremy mumbled as he chuckled “What a mood”

“Stop” Michael whispered, laughing softly anyways.

“Stop talking and start Mario Kart” He joked, continuing to text Christine.

“Maybe I already did and you’re just ignoring” Michael laughed.

“I’m nooot” Jeremy whispered, smiling as they started, Jeremy choosing princess peach immediately.

“What the fuck, Jeremy?” Michael laughed.

“I like her, shut up” Jeremy laughed, snorting softly.

“Fine, be weird and I’ll be Luigi”

“See now that’s weird”

“No, you being Princess Peach is weird” Michael laughed.

“No, this is” Jeremy mumbled, flipping his controller upside down to hold it.

Michael stared at his hands, confused as hell “What the hell?” He mumbled, blinking quickly “Why the fuck are you holding it like that?” Michael laughed, quickly looking at the screen as the race started.

“I’m left-handed, so the controller is really weird feeling in my hand” He mumbled.

“You’re left-handed?” Michael mumbled “I’ve never met anyone who’s left-handed before”

“It’s nothing special really” Jeremy shrugged “I mean, there’s some weird thumb thing about crossing your fingers together where my left thumb is on top? So when I’m holding hands I have to be in the back or else it feels weird”

“I’m not picking any of this up” Michael laughed softly.

“I don’t either half the time” Jeremy admitted, standing up to keep playing as he sat back down, crossing his legs.

“Do you understand anything that comes out of your mouth?”

“Fuck no” Jeremy smiled.

“Nice” Michael mumbled, laughing softly as he came in second “Not nice!”

“Whoo,” Jeremy mumbled softly, coming in first. He smiled peacefully as Michael pouted.

“How are you so good at this?” Michael smiled.

“I never had friends as a kid and my mom knew this, also knew I was shy and didn’t like people, but never decided to anything about it. So I spent a lot of my time playing video games and trying to beat every record or something like that.. But I don’t really play that much anymore” He mumbled.

“Jeez… Your mom sounds like a bitch” Michael frowned “Sorry, just.. She does”

“I know” Jeremy slowly nodded “I used to play with Cole in the living room while my parents were at work, but.. When I turned fifteen they got a divorce and I didn’t play too much anymore and after Cole died I haven’t played in months..” He mumbled, messing with the controller “But I had a lot of free time when I was a kid” He shrugged softly.

“..I’m sorry I kind of triggered something” Michael mumbled, putting his controller down to put an arm around Jeremy, rubbing his shoulder.

“No, it’s okay- I just..” Jeremy sighed and leaned into his shoulder, swallowing thickly. He never realized how emotionally pent up he was about his mom. All his emotion was just pushed out after Cole’s death.

“It’s okay” Michael whispered, moving to wrap him in a tight hug. Jeremy flinched when he realized how wet his face was from crying “I know what it’s like to hate a parent..” He whispered “You don’t have to talk about it. Just let it out”

Jeremy sniffled against his shoulder and smiled, softly hugging him back “..Thank you” He whispered, laughing softly.

Michael smiled and ran his hand through Jeremy’s curls, rubbing his head “You’re welcome Jere”


	4. Dustin

As the next few months passed Jeremy spent a lot of time at Michael’s place more and more. They comforted each other, waited for the other after therapy and always reassured the other they were going to be okay.

Jeremy went to Michael’s graduation and celebrated by playing video games. Jeremy made a cake and Michael insisted on putting weed in it, but Jeremy only glared at him. Michael had gotten comfortable enough to smoke in front of Jeremy and although Jeremy never smoked anything he was okay with contact and sometimes shotgunning. Not too often, but Michael always offered.

A week after Michael’s graduation Jeremy had to leave for his mom’s place over the summer. Michael took him to the train station and waved as Jeremy had left. Jeremy spent most of the hour train ride listening to music, texting Michael or drawing in the sketchbook he brought. Most of the things he drew were either birds or cartoon animals. When he noticed a man staring he closed the book and put it back in his bag, hugging it to his chest.

Once he was in New York he immediately left, walking around the city. He usually hated the city or people in general, but as much as he’d hate to admit it, he liked New York. Not the people, but the views.

He eventually found his mom and step dad’s apartment, unlocking the door with his key he got two years ago. It was only his second time coming to his mom’s, but he knew it well enough. As soon as he walked in and closed the door behind him he dropped his bag on the ground and laid on the couch, watching whatever was on the TV. It was definitely near midnight, meaning Jeremy had been up for at the least twelve hours. He kicked his shoes off to cuddle a pillow, taking his phone out to text Michael that he’d gotten there safe and wasn’t killed or kidnapped.

He dropped his phone afterward and stared at the TV. Morgan came out just a few minutes later, gasping as she found Jeremy. He smiled and sat up to stand up, hugging her. She grinned and squeezed him tightly.

“How was the train ride?” She smiled, holding his cheeks in her small hands.

“..Awkward, but it was quiet and nice” He smiled at her before they pulled away. She was just barely shorter than Jeremy, maybe five foot. He hated that he got her genes instead of his dad’s six-foot genes, but he’d have to deal.

“Have you met my husband yet?” She grinned.

“I didn’t know he was your husband but if you’re talking about Eric, yes” He laughed.

“I know, I just like saying husband” She giggled.

Jeremy didn’t particularly like Eric, but he guessed he wasn’t bad. He could’ve been worse, so Jeremy was happy with a step-dad trying to call him son and bond together. All throughout the summer, he’d try to get Jeremy to go out, do anything, go on a walk or swim, going to the harbor or beach, but Jeremy disagreed and texted Michael instead. They’d text all day and all night, staying up later and later just to talk to each other.

Jeremy started to miss Michael more and more, but couldn’t leave just yet. He’d text Michael constantly, telling him he missed him and wished he was here. Michael would always agree, even if he got a job at GameStop. Part way through the summer it somehow came out that Jeremy was bi. He didn’t even mean to say it, but as soon as it did Morgan accepted him and even Eric did. Morgan didn’t understand it at first, but Eric already knew what it was and explained it a little.

Jeremy never told Eric or Morgan about Michael or texting Michael constantly, but he wished he had. Eric brought over another boy one day named Dustin. Jeremy was on the couch in one of his hoodies and old volley shorts, drawing. Eric said Dustin was a senior last year and graduated a few months before. He said Dustin was one of his friend’s son. And when Dustin wasn’t paying attention and talking to Morgan, Eric had whispered he was single and gay.

Jeremy’s face was a light pink throughout the day while Dustin was there. When Morgan and Eric left for work, they’d left Dustin and Jeremy alone together. Jeremy spent most of his time on the couch watching youtube while Dustin was in the other room, wondering how to approach this. Eric had told him he was bisexual and single, and when he saw a picture of Jeremy he’d thought he was cute. Now he just seemed quiet, shy and uninterested. He felt a little bad but still tried.

He sat on the couch next to Jeremy, watching youtube on the TV together. Jeremy had turned on game grumps and Dustin gasped and begged him to watch them. Once Jeremy found out he liked video games and all the same nerdy things he opened up quickly and they bonded fairly easily. Jeremy had told him all about his favorite video games and found out Dustin’s favorite game was Apocalypse of the Damned, obviously making them friends. Jeremy had leaned on Dustin at some point, growing tired once it was around twelve. Dustin put an arm around him to keep him warm and kept watching the TV.

When Morgan walked in she stared and took a quick picture of them, sending it to Eric. She smiled. She was finally able to help her son interact with others, giving him some social skills. When Dustin tried to sit up Jeremy put an arm over his waist and moved to lay in his lap. Dustin would’ve got up, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He only moved his hand to Jeremy’s head, running his fingers gently through Jeremy’s hair.

Eric came home around one in the morning to find his son and Dustin on the couch. Jeremy was still sleeping peacefully, his hair a now curly and fringey mess thanks to Dustin’s hands. Eric smiled and waved at Dustin. Dustin waved sleepily back as he let out a soft sigh.

Jeremy woke up the next morning, still cuddling Dustin’s side as he and Eric watched TV and talked a little. Jeremy yawned and rolled over to face Dustin’s stomach, burying his face. Normally he’d be embarrassed to act this way with a stranger, but sleepy Jeremy didn’t care for his future consequences.

When Jeremy finally did sit up to wake up, he leaned on Dustin’s shoulder, his hair in his face. Dustin laughed and rubbed his head. They spent a few minutes like that, talking and eventually asked Jeremy for his phone number. Jeremy gladly gave it to him as he left. Jeremy got his change of clothes and quickly showered.

Dustin texted him later in the day. Jeremy then realized he’d been ignoring Michael for a while. He frowned and ignored Dustin’s text, going straight to Michael’s.

Jeremy 10:22 AM: Sorry, my dad brought a friend my age over and we hung a bit

Michael 10:24 AM: Oh, that’s okay

Jeremy 10:24 AM: Yeah, but he totally likes aotd so maybe we could all hang out sometime if he comes back with me or something  
Jeremy 10:25 AM: Or maybe just all text, hes pretty nice

Michael 10:29 AM: Yeah

Jeremy 10:29 AM: So what are you up to?

Michael 10:31 AM: About to go to work

Jeremy 10:32 AM: You don’t work on Saturdays though?

Michael 10:35 AM: I picked up a shift, gtg

Jeremy 10:35 AM: Oh, okay,, well, bye!

Jeremy frowned a little and sat on the couch with the towel on his head, drying some more of his hair. Michael never said he had to go, he always said he’d be right back or say he’ll text when he can. Maybe he was just in such a big rush.

Dustin 10:21 AM: Hey! Hoping this is Jeremy the kid who slept on me all night lol

Jeremy 10:37 AM: Oh god, i didnt do that, did i?  
Jeremy 10:37 AM: Im so sorry

Dustin 10:38 AM: Its okay It was pretty cute tbh

Jeremy 10:39 AM: Uh no

Dustin 10:39 AM: Uh, duh

Jeremy 10:40 AM: nah, im anything but cute tbh

Dustin 10:41 AM: Youre nothing but cute

Jeremy 10:41 AM: more like coffee and spite

Dustin 10:42 AM: I’d believe that, and, you should like, come over or i should some time and we can play video games

Jeremy 10:42 AM: If you have a nintendo i’ll fight you in pokemon

Dustin 10:42 AM: Deal, i’ll come over at around 6 or so

Jeremy 10:43 AM: It’s a date

Jeremy put his phone down and continued to dry his hair. He watched TV and checked for any texts from Michael while he waited for Dustin. Michael wasn’t even online until this morning. Maybe he was super busy. It made Jeremy a little upset, but he dealt with it, understanding Michael must’ve been busy.

When Dustin arrived with a bag and walked right into the living room where Jeremy was laying and drawing on the couch, Jeremy was a little surprised. Dustin didn’t say anything as he unzipped the bag and tipped it upside down so three DS’s and tons of games in small cases fell onto the cushion. Jeremy stared in amazement, unzipping his own bag to pull out his DSi with stickers. He smiled and showed Dustin the pokemon game he had and Dustin looked through them to find it. Only then did Jeremy realize they were all pokemon games.

They eventually found it, sitting on the couch together, back to back battling. Dustin actually got pokemon to compete, while Jeremy had all of the Eevee evolutions because obviously. He was more interested in the shows and ribbons you could get from beauty pageants so when Jeremy only had three pokemon left and Dustin had seven, he might’ve been a little bitter.

Jeremy groaned as he lost, but at least he got to watch all his evolutions sleep peacefully in his deck. Dustin took pride in winning but did let Jeremy mess with his DS under his eevees all healed. Morgan noticed Dustin having his arms around Jeremy’s waist while he was playing. He was borderline in Dustin’s lap as he played, unaware of Dustin leaning his chin on his shoulder, playing with Jeremy’s DS by his stomach. Morgan took a picture and sent it to Eric.

She knew Eric was trying to set them up, but all she really cared about was Jeremy’s growing social skills. It might’ve been a dirty move to force Dustin on Jeremy slightly, but they were getting along and having fun. Maybe Jeremy would like him on his own.

When Eric got home near midnight, Dustin was sitting in the corner of the L-shaped couch, his back against a pillow with his legs crossed as Jeremy sat in his lap, his DS on his knees. Dustin’s DS was on Jeremy’s thighs, staring down as he tried to beat him. He was trying hard, but Jeremy had made a new deck with stronger pokemon, finally beating Dustin.

“Ha!” Jeremy laughed “It took me three hours, but I did it!” He screamed, sighing softly as he leaned back into Dustin “Finally..”

“That’s what.. Fifty to one now?” He smirked.

“Shut. the fuck… up” Jeremy whispered, clenching his DS tightly.

“Aw, you’re cute when you’re angry”

“You’re cute when you lose” Jeremy smirked, already starting a rematch.

“You’re cute when you win”

Jeremy groaned blushed a little, rolling his eyes. He smiled anyway, continuing with another match until he lost again “I give up” He whispered, shutting his DS off, tossing it at the end of the couch near his phone. He gasped a little and sat up “Fuck, Michael” He whispered. Eric and Dustin both felt a little worried, Dustin adding in jealousy.

Jeremy 12:28 AM: I’m so sorry i didnt text a lot, i was playing video games with a friend

Michael 12:30 AM: Aw, nah its cool

Jeremy 12:31 AM: Are you sure? I havent texted you since like.. ten hours ago

Michael 12:33 AM: yeah its fine but i gtg

Jeremy 12:33 AM: please dont be mad at me

Jeremy waited a little before sighing, putting his phone down. He wasn’t meaning to ignore him, but it did suck when Michael ignored him back.

Dustin rubbed his shoulder a little “Hey, it’s okay.. Sometimes friends get into arguments and disagreements, but they always make up” He smiled “So don’t worry. I’m sure Michael will come around”

Jeremy smiled and turned to hug him on the couch “Thanks Dustin”

“You’re welcome Jer-Bear” He teased.


	5. Crumbling world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit

The next day Jeremy declined Dustin’s request to hang out and spent the day laying on the couch, video calling Michael. He was drawing and listening to Michael ramble on about level ten. He had begged Jeremy to come back so they could try and beat it, but Jeremy only laughed.

“I’ll have to decline that offer” Jeremy smiled, continuing to draw a very detailed butterfly. He hadn’t practiced realism in a while and it didn’t look half bad.

“Whhhhy” Michael whined over the line, sitting at his desk. He was playing overwatch while listening to Jeremy.

“Gotta stay for the whole summer” Jeremy shrugged “It’s rough buddy, I know. Sorry” He teased, chewing on his eraser.

“Rubber is bad your body, Jer” Michael mumbled not even looking at him.

“Fine” Jeremy mumbled, taking the eraser from his mouth “Guess I’ll find another way to die then” He joked.

“Not funny” Michael laughed anyways “What are you drawing anyways?”

“A butterfly” Jeremy smiled.

Michael sighed softly as the match ended, turning his attention to Jeremy “You should show me”

“Oh, I don’t think so” Jeremy smirked, looking up at him.

“Why nooooot?” Michael laughed.

“Fine, whiny baby” Jeremy joked, lifting his sketch up for Michael to see.

“Whoa, that’s totally fucking cool” Michael gaped as Jeremy laid it back down “You’re super talented Jer”

“Thanks Mikey” Jeremy blushed a little.

“Like, seriously- If theatre doesn’t work out you could just become an artist”

“Thanks for giving me options” Jeremy snorted “So how’s Gamestoop?” Jeremy mumbled.

Michael groaned and looked away from him “Horrible.. People keep asking if I’m single and I have to explain I’m not looking for a girlfriend and then guys come in, and I swear this one cute guy came in and I had to turn him down”

“What, why?” Jeremy frowned. He could see someone with Michael easily. Anyone really. It kind of made him sad because he’d lose his best friend a little and spend less time with him.

“Because I like this guy already” Michael shrugged.

Jeremy felt his heart pull and break. He stared in confusion at his butterfly and took a breath. He wasn’t having a panic attack, but he felt tingly and sad. He shook his head and gasping slightly in fake surprise “Who?!” He grinned “Tell me!”

“Ah- no” Michael blushed a little “He’s uh.. He’s too shy and I think I’d be embarrassed to tell you” Michael mumbled.

“Aw..” Jeremy pouted. He felt like crying “Gimme a hint?”

“Uh, he liked video games like us” Michael smiled shyly.

Jeremy frowned deeply. So Michael could have a replacement of him. Jeremy’s stomach dropped a little. He liked Michael. Holy shit he liked-liked Michael. He swallowed “Oh..” Jeremy whispered “Well, I’d say you should ask him out”

“Really?” Michael mumbled “I think he’d say no”

“Then don’t and die alone” Jeremy muttered, some pent-up anger and fear bleeding through.

“What?” Michael mumbled, frowning at him “Are you okay?”

“Just fine” Jeremy snapped bitterly, slamming his computer shut. He stared at the stickers on his laptop and let his angry expression soften into a small frown. He sniffled, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He quickly closed his sketchbook and laid it on the floor as he hugged a pillow to cry.

Morgan poked her head in a little and frowned, moving to crouch in front of Jeremy “Aw.. What’s wrong, baby?” She whispered, raising a hand to wipe his tears away.

Jeremy stayed laying down and only shook his head “I.. I think I like a guy…. And he likes someone else” He mumbled. He’d never felt this much pain before. Maybe when his mom left, but it didn’t hurt so bad when he realized he’d see her again. Not even when Cole left. It’s like losing a best friend who you were also in love with “He’s.. just gonna replace me” He muttered.

“Oh Jeremy, he’s not going to replace you” Morgan laughed softly, kissing his forehead.

“He’s not?” Jeremy mumbled.

“Of course not” Morgan smiled “He might spend less time with you, but he’d never replace you”

Jeremy only frowned and glanced down “That’s not much better” He mumbled into the pillow.

Morgan frowned and sighed, standing up “Here” She whispered, moving to sit next to him, sitting him up to lean him on her shoulder. She never realized how easy Jeremy was to practically pick up. He weighed as much as a twelve-year-old girl “Sometimes your best friend will get in a relationship, even if you love them. Did you ever stop to think you were the guy he was talking about?”

“No, but I doubt I was” Jeremy whispered against her shoulder, hugging the pillow still.

Morgan frowned and glanced at Jeremy’s phone, lighting up “..Even if you weren’t, it looks like he’s worried about you. And that means something, right?”

Jeremy stared at his phone before opening it up to read the messages.

Michael 4:12 PM: What happened? ???  
Michael 4:12 PM: You just hugn up man, are you okay?  
Michael 4:13 PM: Jer please talk to me, im sorry if i upset you  
Michael 4:13 PM: if it makes you feel better the guy i like isnt even in new jersey..  
Michael 4:13 PM: I swear I’m not going to replace you. Please dont ignore me like this  
Michael 4:14 PM: Im so fucking worried jer..  
Michael 4:14 PM: I love you Jer, please respond to me..

“..I guess” Jeremy smiled softly and hugged his mom again “Thanks mom”

“Of course baby” Morgan smiled, kissing his forehead again as she stood up.

Jeremy 4:15 PM: I love you too Mikey, i just suddenly felt depressed is all..

Michael 4:15 PM: Okay im sos orry i freaked out i was just worried  
Michael 4:15 PM: Are you okay now??

Jeremy 4:16 PM: Yeah, a bit  
Jeremy 4:16 PM: I was talking to my mom and she helped

Michael 4:17 PM: That’s good..

Jeremy 4:18 PM: Wait

Michael 4:18 PM: Wait?

Jeremy 4:18 PM: Wait

Michael: 4:19 PM: Wait for what?

Jeremy 4:19 PM: Wait

Michael 4:20 PM: ??

Jeremy 4:20 PM: 4:20

Michael 4:20 PM: Goddamnit Jeremy

Jeremy 4:21 PM: What? Too cliche for my stoner best friend?

Michael 4:21 PM: Ha….. ha.. Very funny

Jeremy smiled and looked up as the door opened, his dad and Dustin walking in. He felt a little guilty as Dustin waved at him, walking past the living room to the kitchen. Dustin came out a few minutes later and smiled, sitting down next to Jeremy. Jeremy quickly moved his sketchbook back into his bag.

“Hi..?” Jeremy mumbled, zipping his bag.

“Hi, I know you said you didn’t wanna hang out, but I just wanna talk..”

“Uh.. okay?” Jeremy mumbled nervously. He hated it when people wanted to talk.

“I like you, Jeremy. Like- really! Like you” He started. Jeremy blinked in confusion and stared at him still “It’s like.. I just…. Really really like you” Dustin laughed slightly as he grinned “And.. I know it’s a little rushed but it’s been about a month and maybe fools do rush in, but.. Will you go out with me?”

Jeremy blinked quickly as his eyes widened. He’d never dated anyone, let alone been asked out. He’d never even held hands or kissed someone! He swallowed as his face turned red. He softly shrugged and smiled nervously at him.

Dustin looked slightly hurt “I mean.. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. Not a lot of people do after just a month so I get that-”

“Stop” Jeremy blurted as Dustin looked even more hurt “No! I’m sorry, It’s just- I’ve never been asked out before so I don’t know what to say!” He blurted “Oh god I’m making it worse” He whispered “I just.. I don’t know how to feel about people since I’ve never.. Been in love- or.. Anything” He blurted again “Fuck!” He laughed.

“So.. is that a yes?” Dustin smiled hopefully.

“It’s.. It’s not a no, but I really don’t know what it’s like to be in a relationship so I still don’t know.. I’m sorry” Jeremy frowned.

“Hey, it’s all good” He smiled softly “..Maybe I could take you out on a date?” Dustin mumbled softly “Show you how couples do act and.. If you like it we can go out and if you don’t we can stay friends”

“..Yeah” Jeremy whispered softly, blushing “I’d.. like that” He mumbled.

“Come on” Dustin smiled, standing up.

“I’ll be there in a sec” Jeremy mumbled.

Jeremy 4:34 PM: Hey, im sorry to ditch but i just got asked on a date

Michael 4:36 PM: Oh  
Michael 4:36 PM: Yeah, I gtg anyways, bye

Jeremy 4:37 PM: Bye!!

Jeremy threw his phone down on the couch and stood up, smiling as he left with Dustin. He’d never been on a date, but he expected it to be somewhat nice. As soon as they left Dustin was already rambling off places and sights to see. First was Alexander Hamilton’s grave, purely to brag to Christine. Then a bunch of cafes, lots of small stores with cute little trinkets and odds and ins, that sort of thing.

They walked and talked for hours, spending so much time together. Jeremy liked holding his hand and Dustin seemed to like his. He thought he loved Michael, but maybe he was putting the feelings on Michael when he really just missed Dustin. Maybe that’s how love works.

Dustin brought Jeremy home a little later than usual, around eleven. Far too late for any normal time, but Eric didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he looked a little disappointed or sad even. Morgan looked like she was crying. Jeremy felt guilty as he came up to them in the kitchen.

“Jeremy- Oh” Morgan whispered, holding his phone tightly. He blinked and swallowed, watching them with a confused expression “..Michael’s mom called” She whispered ”..Michael’s in the hospital”


	6. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end and uh- yeah its like 800 words but shrugs it took me like what 30 minutes if i hadnt taken a like 10 minutes nap.. has it been 30 minutes? you guys know XD

The train ride home was the most excruciating thing Jeremy had ever endured. His best friend was in the hospital without any warning at all. One second they’re okay and the next someone gets hurt. Jeremy cried the whole bus ride there, no company or texts. Dustin texted once to see if he was okay, but Jeremy didn’t bother replying. If he’d stayed home and kept talking to Michael he could’ve talked him down or prevented it completely.

As soon as the train stopped Jeremy was out the door, calling Michael’s cell phone. After three voicemails and two blocks of running, he called Jasmine. She confirmed he was safe and at home now, but not talking or eating. Mahalia was with him, letting him lay in her lap as he cried.

Jasmine didn’t give any more detail before Jeremy thanked her and hung up. He was sprinting down sidewalks, almost running into people. Probably looking like a fool, but it didn’t matter to him. How could it when his best friend needed him?

When he finally reached Michael’s he was out of breath and slightly sweaty, but he still threw the door open and looked around frantically, calling out for Michael. When Jasmine emerged she was frowning and crying. Jeremy didn’t realize it before but he had started crying again.

He frowned at her as she moved out of the way to look in the living room at Michael crying into Mahalia’s shoulder. Jeremy noticed he wasn’t wearing his hoodie and had bandages around his wrists and arms. Jeremy felt sick as his stomach dropped “Michael..?” He whispered.

Michael glanced up and gasped, standing up “Jeremy? What are you doing here? You’re in-”

“Your moms told me” He whispered breathlessly as he wiped his eyes “Why? Why?!” He gestured to his arms “What were you thinking?!” He snapped. Mahalia was about to cut in before Jeremy was grabbing Michael’s hands tightly “If you meant what you said when you loved me, you wouldn’t do this” He mumbled, tearing up “You could’ve died!” He whimpered. Michael frowned as tears fell from his face rapidly “You could’ve been gone forever and never see your moms again! Or your friends! Or me!” Jeremy whispered “..I could’ve lost you”

Michael lowered his forehead to Jeremy’s shoulder as he cried. He gasped for breath as Jeremy sat down, carefully pulling Michael with him. Jeremy sat at the end of the couch with Michael between his legs, hugging Jeremy’s torso. Jeremy sighed and game in, hugging him tightly “..I already lost a best friend.. Please don’t make me lose another” Jeremy whispered.

“I’m sorry” Michael whimpered “I’m so so sorry.. I’m sorry” Michael cried into his chest.

“It’s okay” Jeremy smiled, moving a hand to Michael’s neck, playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck “It’s okay, Michael.. I forgive you”

Michael sniffled, scooting closer to Jeremy’s neck “..I love you” He whispered.

Jeremy smiled softly, his other hand rubbing Michael’s back soothingly “..I love you too, Mikey”

“I love you” Michael repeated, frowning.

“I know, I love you too”

“I love you.. I.. I love you” Michael cried.

Jeremy frowned, hugging him close as he hushed him “It’s okay.. I promise you I love you too. I promise” He whispered. He carefully placed a kiss on Michael’s forehead “I swear if you have to say it one more time to make me understand I’m gonna call you stupid”

“But..”

“You’re an idiot” Jeremy sighed, closing his eyes as he ran his fingers through Michael’s hair. Michael sniffled again before closing his puffy eyes and quickly falling asleep. Jeremy carefully slipped his glasses off, laying them on the table behind him so he didn’t disturb Michael. Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek as he combed his fingers through Michael’s hair. He did lose a best friend. But he wasn’t going to lose another one.

~~~~~~

“How’s it going?” Jeremy whispered to Michael, taking a hold of his wrist. Michael stopped flinching after a year.

Michael smiled, moving to take his hand, his ring pressing into Jeremy’s finger “It looks like he’s having fun. A little confused at the gift, but he’s gonna be so stoked” Michael smiled “I’ll be right back” He whispered, leaving for the kitchen.

Jeremy nodded and looked back at their son. It was his eighth birthday and he invited all his friends for a party. Jeremy and Michael had gotten married a few years after high school, adopting a baby once they were twenty-five and well settled. Well into their thirties they have a little toddler, well, not so little now.

Miles looked up at his dad, giving him a strange look. Jeremy only shrugged and looked back as Michael brought in a golden retriever puppy. Miles gasped and smiled widely, opening his arms for the small puppy. Jeremy rubbed his eyes and snapped a quick picture of Miles smiling at the camera. Jeremy carefully put the picture on the mantel with the one of him from years ago. He left the camera and the picture to go talk to his son and husband.

"What are you gonna name him?" Michael grinned.

"..Connor!" Miles laughed.

"..I like Connor" Jeremy whispered, rubbing Miles' head softly.


End file.
